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Full Chandler dialogs from Episode 053

Note: A lot of these lines were either yelled or spoken impassionately, occasionally there are vocal directions, however, the scenes can be judged properly without overzealous emotions.

(Debbie McAllister at mirror in the bedroom/hotel room, Chandler behind her in bed)
Chandler: Good morning Mrs Chandler. You’re not coming back to bed.
McAllister: I am seven months pregnant.
Chandler: Didn't stop you last night.
McAllister: We'll be late for work.

(Chandler and McAllister in the car)
Chandler: best if I drop you here.
McAllister: Glad to see your so proud of me.
Chandler: I'll make an announcement when you've got your transfer sorted. Come on Debs I haven't got all day.
McAllister: You hurt me.
Chandler: What?
McAllister: last night
Chandler: Thought you liked it rough.
McAllister: I'm seven months pregnant
Chandler: So you keep saying.
McAllister: You hurt me.
Chandler: Look ah, don't forget to take you ring off.
McAllister: So this is married life.
Chandler: just for the time being until i get things sorted
McAllister: what about Jack Meadows
Chandler: Ahh, your big protector? he won't do anything now I'm married to you.

(At the reception desk- FDO Robberta Cryer, Robbie for short, at reception, reading)
Robbie C: Morning Sir. [puts book she was reading down]
Chandler: Occurrence book please. [reads cover of book] "Inside the mind of Serial Killer"
Robbie C: He's fascinating, thought I might be able to come up with a lead on the river murders.
Chandler: Well wouldn't it be fascinating if you tidied up this office, its a disgrace.
Robbie C: Sir.
Chandler: Thankyou. [passed occurrence book back]

Chandler: You a popular person?
Robbie C: I've got a few friends yeah
Chandler: And you're happy with your lot.
Robbie C: S'pose so.
Chandler: Maybe that's where I went wrong. Who knows.

(Chandler’s office, DAC Gordon Cooper barging in, one of the two men who held Louise down)
Chandler: So, to what do I owe the pleasure Gordon?
Cooper : Cut the crap Tom. It's over.
Chandler: What?
Cooper : I've just had a call, from an old friend of mine, in CIB.

Chandler: No! We are in this together! You were involved!
Cooper: I've spoken to Dave. The version of events have been changed. It seems we weren’t anywhere near the rape.
[McAllister opens the door]
McAllister: Jack and Mickey have gone to CIB.
Gordon: Goodbye Tom. Oh, it's like I said, you're on your own now. [leaves]

Chandler: It was a bit of fun. A wild party, things got out of control.
McAllister: And last night?
Chandler: You're my wife. You started playing games again.
McAllister: Games?!
Chandler: Our wedding night and you think we're not gonna have sex.
McAllister: I thought we'd agreed. This is an arrangement. For the sake of the baby. I mean it's hardly a love job is it?!
Chandler: I love you.
McAllister: Funniest thing I've heard all year.
Chandler: No, I do.
McAllister: Any man that rapes a woman isn't capable of love.
Chandler: No? When did the pendulum swing that far?
McAllister: What?
Chandler: Well, 20 years ago our party, Louise teased me, and teased me, she had her hand on my groin, stroking me and driving me out of my mind, when I followed through...
McAllister: You're sick...
Chandler: No, see you...You're an even bigger tease. You take it all the way to the bridal vows, wedding suite, marital bed, and what's a man to expect?
McAllister: I don't have to listen to this.
Chandler: No Debs, honestly, you are as much to blame for this. I mean I got carried away twice in my life, I admit that.
McAllister: That we know of.
Chandler: Twice! I'm not a rapist! I don't go 'round pouncing on women in the middle of the night!
McAllister: Louise Marsden killed herself!
Chandler: Ah she was deeply unstable, deeply unstable; ask her brother.
McAllister: Ask her brother?! Huh?
Chandler: Yeah. Okay, right, we're married, I need you to do me a favour. I hate these...[chain on uniform] Look if not for me, for the baby.

McAllister: [on phone] Jack, it's Debbie, where are you?...with CIB...

(At the reception desk- Robberta Cryer talking to DCI Peter Marsden)
Marsden : I need to speak to Tom Chandler now.
Robbie C: I won't be a mo...
[Marsden rushes through door when Copper comes out]

(In Chandlers’ office)
McAllister: It's too late. They've told CIB the whole story.
Chandler: I'm not a rapist! I got carried away at a party where sex was on the agenda! It's not fair!
McAllister: Louise Marsden said she'd been raped!
Chandler: Louise Marsden was a little tease! She wanted to play go grown up games and couldn't handle the consequences!
Marsden: [barging in] I'll take that as a confession, shall I? You raped my sister. You're the reason she hanged herself!
Chandler: Got the wrong end of the stick
Marsden: [to McAllister] Could you leave us please?
Chandler: Debbie's going no-where, she's my wife.
Marsden: [laughing] Oh, this just gets better and better!
McAllister: Your sister, Louise, was she unstable?
Marsden: My sister was able, bright, funny, and really together. That's why we all found it so hard, so utterly impossible to work out why she'd killed herself. Made absolutely no sense. Until today.
McAllister: I feel sick.
Marsden: She's carrying your child!
Chandler: Debbie, stay where you are!
McAllister: I'm sorry...
Marsden: A bit late in the pregnancy for morning sickness, huh? Maybe it's the realisation she's married to a rapist that makes her want to vomit.

Marsden: I'm waiting.
Chandler: For what?
Marsden: I've waited 20 years to find out what happened to Louise, my little sister.
Chander: At ah, at the party...Louise was visiting. Obviously I met her before school holidays, that kinda thing; y'know she was very pretty but she was a kid I, I didn't pay her any attention. Then you brought her up to Hendon, it was different. 'Grown up. Filled out. From the minute she arrived she was all over me- Flirting, laughing, little looks, little touches. I remember Gordon saying I was 'in'. Then, ah, he had the party on the Saturday night and everybody got drunk he made punch blew everyone's balls off. You were there with whatsaname, thingy...Dippie Maria. You had some kinda row, Maria left, you went after her. And, ah, I was going out with Anne. She got all moody because of me an' your sister. I mean it was obvious there was an attraction, the chemistry...so Anne gave me an ultimatum and I told her to stuff it so she left. Not that I could've cared less, stupid cow. So I started drinking with Louise, Dancing with her. Gordon was right. I was 'in'. So I kissed her. And she liked it. She liked it a lot. And she kissed me back. Then I pulled her towards me, I tried to touch her. And when I tried to touch her she pulled away. Said it wasn't what she wanted. Well if it wasn't what she wanted, what was the whole evening about? I mean what was it some kind of stupid game? I mean everybody had seen it the way she looked at me the way that she touched me how much she wanted me and she did! She did want me! Everybody knew it! Gordon all the guys new it and that’s why they helped hold her down. I mean yeah, yeah, she was saying no, But she meant yes I knew she meant yes we all did and she definitely meant yes! So I gave her what she wanted, and she really wanted it, I mean she was calling out and she was screaming like a banshee! She was making so much noise Gordon had to put his hand over her mouth to stop her waking up the whole college! So she's been asking for it all night, I give her what she wanted, I mean what the hell is wrong with that!?
[Marsden takes him by the collar and shoves him up against the wall]

(Chandler is holding Marsden’s heads to his desk)
Chandler: Don't need any help to hold you down!
Marsden: You said you'd help me find out why my sister killed herself! Ghoh You're filth!
Chandler: Yeah you're weak just like she was.
[throws to ground]
Marsden: You murdered Louise. And now you're going to pay for it.
Chandler: I don't think so. All they've got is the paranoid fantasy of a couple of dead-end cops and a Looney statements from my Looney brother.
Marsden: Sounds a lot to me. It's over, you're living on borrowed time.
Chandler: Oh get out before I throw you out.
Marsden: I'll be back with CIB. You're finished, Chandler.

(DC Mickey Webb on the phone)
Chandler: Yes...What do you want?
Webb: Yeah we've just seen DAC Cooper and he is singing like a cannery. I just thought you'd like to know, Sir.
[Chandler puts phone down and starts crying]

(Chandler walking into CID, citing Acting DI Samantha Nixon. DC Ken Drummond sits at his desk)
Chandler: Where's Debbie McAllister?
Nixon: Well that's what I'd like to know.
Chandler: She investigating the shooting on the Bronte?
Nixon: No Phil and Eva are onto that.
Chandler: What?
Nixon: Phil and Eva...
Chandler: Yes I know. Hows it going?
Nixon: I've just got back from court.
Drummond : Well they still haven’t' interviewed the victim yet. But we've got the firearm.
Chandler: 'Sit gone to forensics' yet?
Drummond : Not as far as I know sir.
Chandler: *looking at evidence bags * I thought I told you to move those!
Nixon: Well I did ask Debbie...
Chandler: Oh I'll do it myself!

(At evidence cupboard/storage, Sergent Craig Gilmore behind the counter)
Chandler: Craig, is anyone keeping any kind of check on evidence in this station? I found these lying around in CID.
Gilmore: Well with respect Sir, CID should look after them.
Chandler: The firearm recovered earlier from the Bronte, I'd like to see it where's the book?
[Gilmore fetches revolver in box]
Gilmore: Are you okay Sir?
Chandler: Ammunition...
Gilmore: Sorry?
Chandler: I want the ammunition!
Gilmore: What for?
Chandler: Would you like to face a disciplinary Sergent? I'd like to show it to the press.
Gimore: Spose it might keep their minds off the river murders for an hour or so...
[Chandler stars off]
Gilmore: Superintendent?
Chandler: Yes Sir...Yes Sergent?
Gimore: You need to sign for the ammo as well.
Chandler: Yes of course. Thanks Craig. This ah, could make all the difference.

(Back in CID, Chandler walking up to Nixon)
Chandler: [puts his hand on Nixon's shoulder]
[Nixon jumps when turning around, calms down when sees Chandler]
The minute Debbie McAllister comes in, tell her to come straight to my office.

(McAllister knocks on door to Chandlers’ office)
Chandler: Come in.
McAllister: Where’s Marsden?
Chandler: Would you close the door please

Chandler: He's gone, we had a chat, he saw sense.
McAllister : I don't believe you.
Chandler: It wasn't rape.
McAllister: It was.
Chandler: No, I had sex with Louise.
McAllister : Against her will.
Chandler: You're my wife Debbie, don’t' forget that. Now are you for me, or against me.
McAllister: Look, I’ve been thinking, I really thing you should give yourself up, pled guilty, get yourself a lighter sentence.
Chandler: Are you mad, I can't go to prison.
McAllister : You have no choice.
Chandler: Really? Well We'll see about that. Would you lock the door please? [Yelling] Would you lock the door please! Is there nobody here capable of carrying out a simple order!
[McAllister locks it] Thankyou! Could I have the key please? [throws it to him]

(Nixon knocks on his office door)
Nixon: Mr Chandler, Mr Chandler? [muttering] oh crap.

Chandler: You say I don't have a choice but you're wrong because I'm going to sort out all our problems once and for all.
McAllister : *shaking head* Tom...

Chandler: You know when you wake up in the morning and you turn on the radio and you hear about some guy that’s shot the kids, shot his wife, then turned the gun on himself? I always used to think, how could you do that? What would drive a man to kill his family then kill himself.
But I now understand. I now know how those men feel. Why they do it.
McAllister: Why?
Chandler: I'm a rapist. I raped Louise Marsden, an' I raped you.
McAllister : That doesn't matter now.
Chandler: No, no, no it does matter. It really does. And It matters because I'm not sorry. I committed a crime in the eyes of the law. More than one crime. But I don't feel guilty. and I've tried. I tried to think how Louise Marsden must've felt, how she must've suffered. But if the truth be known, I couldn't care less.
McAllister : D'you care 'bout me? D'you care you hurt me?
Chandler: Ah, you see, you're the acception to the rule, because you're as cold and as selfish as I am.
McAllister : I'm not.
Chandler: Um-hum. It's like looking in the mirror.
McAllister : Nah.
Chandler: Okay. Where did we first have sex? In a disabled toilet where the baby was conceived. I mean how appropriate is that?!
McAllister : The baby changed everything.
Chandler: You should've got rid of it like I told you to.
McAllister : I was going to. The day you dropped me off at the clinic.
Chandler: Don't tell me, you were overcome by a huge wave of love.
McAllister : Yeah. I felt something. Something I hadn't had for a while. for a long time. A feeling. My child. My child.

McAllister: Our child, our hope, the only good thing either of us have ever done.
Chandler: But what future does it have, it's fathers' in prison and its mothers a self-serving whore.
McAllister : I'll be a good mother.
Chandler: Why did you do it why did you seduce me? You didn't want a baby did you?
McAllister : No, not at first I wanted to first, I wanted to further my career.
Chandler: Y'see that's right, that's the real you Debbie, shallow and selfish, I mean the idea of you being a mother it it's laughable so it's better to nip it in the bud now.
McAllister : Well if you're so sure what are you waiting for?
Chandler: I don't there's um, something's missing.
McAllister : My father killed himself.
Chandler: Sensible bloke.
McAllister : Locked himself in the garage with the ignition on. I was twelve.
Chandler: Now that is cruel. See this one, won't know any different.

McAllister: Well, we could be a family.
Chandler: Yeah- the rapist, the ice maiden, and the child conceived in a toilet.
McAllister : Well what about he wedding didn't that mean anything?
Chandler: That was a last ditch attempt to get Jack Meadows off my back, See I thought he cared about you, I though he'd give it up for your sake, but nah Jack Meadows...he could've give a damn either like the rest of humanity.[notices McAllister wincing] What's the matter?
McAllister : I'm in pain I think I'm having a contraction tom, I'm labour,
Chandler: Are you stupid...
McAllister : I'm having the baby!
Chandler: ...No you're not.

(gun aimed at McAllister)
Chandler: It's for the best Debbie. First the child, then you, me; an end to all the pain. [releases gun cock]
[McAllister moans in agony]

(in Meadows' office)
Chandler: Jack Meadows, see, he's the bit that was missing, so he has to die too.
[Debbie moans]

Chandler: I do love you, you know. You laughed last time I said it.
McAllister : It's hysterical.
Chandler: It’s true though I do, I want to. Always wanted to love somebody or something.
McAllister : Why not start with this baby.
Chandler: It won't work, never woks, never works out.
McAllister : Maybe...you're mentally ill.
Chandler: Nah...yeah maybe, why do you ask.
McAllister : I dunno, theory...I dunno, what do they ask...You never mention your father.
Chandler: He let me down there's no point.
McAllister : Well maybe you should’ve...
Chandler: No it doesn't explain anything so don't bother. My father was an ordinary bloke, we were an ordinary family. Whatever it is, this thing...it's in me. "Heretics" they used to call 'em, outsiders. So what I've done makes me an outsider, that's why I've gotta go. See the question is, is who I take with me. Whether I've got he guts to make the gesture- you, me, the baby...Jack Meadows.

McAllister: Can't stand this anymore.
Chandler: Oh for crying out loud, stay where you are, its time to finish it.
[Meadows barges in. Chandler locks door and takes key]
Meadows: So this is your answer ay?
Chandler: Not what you expected?!
Meadows: Didn't think you'd have this much bottle. Thought you'd come quietly.
Chandler: I'm full of surprises, Jack.
Meadows: Well let Debbie go, ay? She's having your baby.
Chandler: [laughs] Tell me something I don't know.
Meadows: Well you must know she's not due for weeks yet.
Chandler: This is your fault, you caused this, you set the ball rolling, why did you do that?
Meadows: Justice.
Chandler: I'm not sorry. Debbie, tell him.
[McAllister moans]
Chandler: I'm not sorry I raped Louise Marsden. I'm not sorry, I wish I was. How bad does it have to get before I'm sorry Jack? Tell me that?
Meadows: I wish I knew.
Chandler: [lowers gun] I raped Debbie last night, I raped my own wife and I'm not sorry. That's bad, isn’t' it?
[Meadows runs at Chandler, Chandler punches him to ground]
Meadows: You're right, you deserve to die.
Chandler: If I kill you, will I feel bad? I don't think so. You caused this, you deserve it.

(In the blank lines below, Webb is rushing up the stairs with CIB, coming through the door just after the last line)

If I kill the baby, Will I feel bad?

I don't think so.

It should've been aborted months ago.
If I kill Debbie, maybe. I care for her more than I've cared for anyone in my life. Is there a hell, Jack? D'you think we'll burn in it?

Meadows: You raped her.

[Webb runs at door to office. Meadows runs at Chandler. McAllister moans on floor. Gun Goes off.]

This was the offical end of the episode. The next one starts with McAllister's arm over Meadows' shoulder, later taken to hospital to give birth to baby Andrew. There were no shots of Chandler's dead body, nor any real dialog about the event other than canteen gossip with PC Cass Rickmann telling fellow PC's about the event. Nor is there any mention of funerals (police or otherwise- considoring the charges had not been proven, he theoretically died innocent). So it is more than appropriate to have only episode 53 transcribed.